


The Nightmare Nativity Before Christmas

by girl_next_door_writes



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 19:33:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16898628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girl_next_door_writes/pseuds/girl_next_door_writes
Summary: The comedy of errors that is the Nativity performed by a bunch of five-year-olds as witnessed by two angels and two hunters.





	The Nightmare Nativity Before Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> The play featured in this tale is based on several nativity plays I have witnessed or been involved in over the years as fact is often far more amusing than fiction

A week, that was all you had been given to pull a nativity out of your ass. There was a stomach bug going around and every member of teaching staff who could have taken charge were either currently in bed or leaning over their toilet throwing up the contents of their stomach. So, here you were at 6 pm in your classroom surrounded by five-year-olds in various stages of changing into costumes. “Michael. Michael. Michael! Straighten up your halo. Jess, don’t forget to pick up baby Jesus. Where are the sheep? Jake sweetie your costume is on backward. Lucy where are your wings? How long have we got? Ten minutes okay, everyone needs to line up ready.” 

“So why are we here again?” Gabe huffed as he followed Cas and the Winchesters into the school hall.

“Because Sam has a crush on the cute teacher and wants to show her how supportive he is,” Dean smirked at his brother who avoided his gaze.

“That doesn’t answer my question.” The blond angel rolled his eyes and pulled a candy out of his pocket.

“Technically you don’t have to be here so…” Sam shrugged as he made his way down a row of chairs to take a seat. He had been wishing he hadn’t even mentioned it. His plan had been to turn up, smile and wave and maybe ask her out for a coffee but instead, he was crammed between his smirking brother, an irritated Gabriel and a very solemn looking Castiel. 

“The fact you don’t want me here is reason enough for me to stay.” the trickster shrugged and the lights dimmed signaling the beginning of the performance.

You took up your position at the side of the stage, sitting where you could be seen by the children should they forget their lines. Fingers crossed you felt your stomach churning as Laura took to the stage to begin the play. “WELCOMETOOURNATIVITYPLAYWEHAVEWORKEDVERYHARDANDWEWILLTELLYOUALLABOUTTHEBIRTHOFTHEBABYJESUSTHANKYOULOOKHERECOMESMARY.” You cringed slightly at the volume and despite you telling her all week to slow down she seemed to have forgotten all that. At least she had her words right though. Jessica made her way onto the stage and you smiled, she was your star and you knew casting her as Mary had been a good call. Unfortunately for you, that was where the inspired casting had ended. Whoever had originally assigned parts had decided that Gabe should play the part of the Angel Gabriel and to say he was a handful would be a huge understatement. 

“Hi, Mary, how you doing? I am Gabe, a ninja of the Lord and I am here to tell you that you will be having a baby.”

Gabriel sat up a little straighter in his chair and grinned at the little boys' performance. He had sat through a handful of these things before and always felt they never quite got his part right but this… this was sublime.

“But how can that be?” Jess turned to her angel, her arms thrown wide with a beautiful touch of pleading in her voice.

“The normal way. Look, don’t ask questions just chill because your baby will be the son of God so it’s all good.” You looked up and noticed that your archangel had a face covered in chocolate and you sighed wearily. Who the hell had given him chocolate? Well, it was too late now and you would be having a word about the whole ‘ninja of the lord’ bit later.

Jess made her way off stage and Scott, your Joseph, wandered on waving at his mom in the audience. Standing in the middle of the stage he took a deep breath and began his William Shatner impersonation. “Oh. No I. Don’t know what I. Should do Mary. Is with child and. I am not the father how. Could she. Do. This. To me?”

“Joseph, I am Gabriel and I am here to tell you to stop being a dick.” Your eyes flew wide and there was an audible gasp from the audience as well as a few chuckles. Oh, there was no way in hell the principle would ever leave you in charge of this sort of thing ever again. “Mary loves you and she is having Gods son so just get over it.” Gabe began to make his way off stage when he spotted the Christmas tree just within reach of the stage decorated with tinsel and candy canes. Wandering over to it he leaned over and plucked a treat from the tree, unwrapped it and popped it into his mouth with a grin before sitting on the edge of the stage to enjoy his sweet. 

Dean was chuckling at the car crash of a performance that was unfolding in front of them and Sam gave him his best bitch face knowing full well how stressed you would be about it. Gabriel was enthralled, a tub of popcorn had appeared on his knee and his eyes were glued to the stage.

“Gabe. Gabe.” You whisper shouted but he steadfastly ignored you so the performance continued around him.

So Mary and Joseph and the donkey made their way through Bethlehem to the Inn where the Innkeeper, played by the very dramatic Daniel, and you sighed with relief. This was the part which had gone swimmingly through every rehearsal and you let yourself relax as Scott led Jess across the stage.

“Hello Mr. Inn keeper do. You have. Any room in your. Inn?” Scott's delivery may be different but at least he had his words right.

“Awwww, come on in. Do you want a cup of coffee?” Daniel threw his door open and ushered the confused couple into the Inn as you hit yourself in the face repeatedly with the battered script in your hands. 

“That is not how it is usually told.” Cas turned to Dean with a confused look.

“Well, I don’t think this is your usual nativity.” He grinned before turning back to see what the next ad lib would be.

The shepherds were sprawled out on the stage and you were fairly sure that Logan was actually asleep. The angels filed on and sang their song as close to note-perfect as you could have hoped for and it was beginning to look like this was one scene that was going to run smoothly. You had relaxed too soon however because when they stood up to follow the star to the baby Jesus you realised that Peter had his sheep costume on backward which wouldn’t have really been a problem if it wasn’t for the tail. From your position, you could hear a titter ripple through the audience at the indecent sheep standing on stage with his hands on his hips completely unaware that he was showcasing a very embarrassing costume malfunction. 

Your head had dropped into your hands. This was a fucking disaster and the part of the night you had actually been dreading was about to happen. It wasn’t that they didn’t know their lines, they were actually word perfect in this scene it was just… well… Damian was playing the part of King Herod and he was… the creepiest child you had ever met in real life. It wasn’t his pale face with the impossibly wide grey eyes that never seemed to blink combined with his bright orangey/red hair which had obviously been cut by his mother although that look was slightly reminiscent of kids in horror films. The thing that really sent shivers down your spine was his voice. Quite high pitch and lilting there were elements of Vincent Price about him and when he looked out at the audience and delivered the line, “I will kill all the boys.” You began to fear for the safety of the children around him. 

Dean leaned over to Sam, unable to take his eyes off the small child declaring mass infanticide. “There’s something off about that kid. You think we need to take a closer look?” he whispered in his gruff tone.

“I’m not sure, possibly.” Sam nodded with a frown. He was getting the creeps just looking at the little boy and he felt a shiver run through him.

This was it. The end of this comedy of errors was almost in sight, all that was needed was everyone on stage for the final song. The couple were sat by the manger, the sheep sat with the shepherds, the wise men were in place and the angelic choir were shuffling on and that’s when you noticed it. Two of your beautiful little angels were shoving each other towards the middle of the row. It started with a little jostling which then escalated to elbowing and a little muttering. By the start of the second verse of Away in a Manger everyone was aware of the discord. “Lucy! Stop pushing me!” Michael yelled.

“You’re squashing me Michael!” she shouted back with a shove.

“Owww, that hurt.” he rubbed his arm and glared at her.

“JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!” Lucy screamed and raised her fist to punch her fellow angel. You were on your feet quick as a flash and dashing along behind the back row of angels, grabbing the little girl before she could make contact. Hoisting her up under your arm you strode off stage as she began to cry out, “Don’t make me go in the cage! Not the cage Miss!” Your face flushed red. You had no idea what she was talking about but you sure as shit knew that it sounded atrocious.

“Well, this is the most realistic production I think I’ve ever seen.” Gabe grinned at Cas who just shook his head at his brother.

“She is gonna need a strong drink after this,” Sam muttered to himself, his eyes following you as you rushed off the stage.

Backstage was a flurry of activity as children changed out of their costumes and were handed back to their grown up as you shot apologetic looks. You could feel the ‘yummy mummy’ set looking at you in disgust and you had never felt more of a failure in your entire life. Making your way back out into the performance hall to make sure all the props had been picked up you cast an eye over the crowd having coffee and a mince pie. A smile appeared on your face as you saw a familiar face towering above the rest, his face lighting up as he shot you a small, self-conscious wave. Climbing down from the stage you made her way over to the friendly face who you knew would sympathize with your ordeal. “Hey, Sam.”

“Hey.” He smiled shyly and was about to say more when he was rudely interrupted by the elated tones of Gabriel.

“That was the best Nativity I have ever seen!” the blond enthused and you found your heart speed up at little as his whiskey-colored eyes met yours.

“Really?” you raised an eyebrow in disbelief. “You sure we were witnessing the same performance?”

“It was amazing, you were amazing.” The compliment slipped from his lips so easily it threw him slightly, he had no idea where it had come from so he hid behind his usual charm. “Have you ever been touched by an angel?”

“Gabe.” The warning tone in Sams' voice fell on deaf ears.

“Physically or metaphorically?” you inquire, tilting your head and smiling flirtatiously at the gorgeous man in front of you.

“Oh, I like her.” Gabriel’s grin matched your own, neither of you breaking eye contact.

“I think you may just have been cockblocked, Sammy.” Dean patted his baby brother on the shoulder in commiseration before turning and heading towards the table filled with pies.

“You want to go grab some hot chocolate? Your directorial triumph should be celebrated.” The archangel leaned in a little closer as he spoke a glimmer of pride in his eyes for his new favourite human.

“I’d…” you begin only to be cut off by a loud crash behind you. Your eyes closed and your nose scrunched up. “That was the tree wasn’t it?” you sighed in defeat.

“How about you let someone else deal with that one and instead we go get some gingerbread and a nice warm drink topped with a mountain of whipped cream?” He took your hand and you felt a jolt run through you, your eyes flew open and met his once again.

“That sounds like the best plan I’ve heard all night.” You smile and let him lead you out of the hall.


End file.
